What does it mean to forgive? According to the dictionary, Forgiveness is an action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. I have discovered that forgiving someone,including myself, is both an action and a process. To forgive means to wipe the slate clean,to pardon,to cancel a debt, to restore. I love the last,to restore. That’s what Jesus does, He restores us. He restored the woman at the well, He restored Mary Magdalene. He restores all who come to Him in repentance. To me, thats a beautiful and powerful thing….. to be restored.
Forgiveness is not granted because a person(s) deserves to be forgiven. Instead, it is an act of love,mercy and grace. Think about it, if God only forgave us when we deserved it, we would be in a shipload of trouble. We would never be forgiven. I used to love the song Unforgiven by Metallica. I took that song to describe myself. But I have come to realize how wrong I was. I was unforgiven because I didn’t forgive myself. We can’t be forgiven by God until we forgive others and ourselves. It’s even harder to forgive ourselves. Even when we haven’t done anything wrong, we tend to still hold things against ourselves. We are our own worst enemies. And satan wants us to stay that way, because it drives a wedge in all of our relationships, even with God. We lose blessings. He wants us to dwell on the past, on our hurts ,etc. It’s time we stop giving the evil one weapons to use against us.
When we forgive a trespasser our actions towards that person may change and of course it t doesn’t mean that we will put ourselves back into a harmful situation ( ps,if you are in an abusive relationship, get out and don’t go back into it,no matter what) or accept or approve of one’s continued wrong behavior. It simply means that we release them from the wrong they commited against us. We forgive because God forgave us. Ephesians 4:32
What does God say about forgiveness?
• We forgive because we have been forgiven by God. Ephesians 4:32
• We forgive in obedience to God. Matthew 6:14-15;Romans 12:18
• We forgive others to gain control of our lives from hurt emotions. Genesis 4:1-8
• We forgive so we won’t become bitter and defile those around us. Hebrews 12:14-15
Though,we are to forgive others and ourselves, it does not mean that it will always be easy. It won’t. We are human and our flesh is weak. This is where the process of forgiving comes in. Forgiveness is a process, especially when it comes to abuse,a shattered heart,etc. Forgiving others and yourself is the beginning of the healing process.
When you hold back forgiveness, ask yourself: who are you hurting? Are you hurting them in any way? Depending on tbe situation, most likely not. There are occasions an honest mistake was made,then both parties will be hurt.Other than that, you are only hurting yourself. That person(s) have not missed any sleep nor given any thought of you at all.
So,who is really being hurt? YOU!! And the ones closest to you. Unforgiveness turns into bitterness, anger,hatred and even murderous. You say,Autumn, how do you know all this? Have you been hurt the way I have? You don’t understand. I have been there, I have been through it all just as most if not all people on this planet have. And you know what? Ain’t none of us have been through what Jesus went through and He forgave us. Hate is a strong word and is against God. Just thinking hateful things makes you guilty of murder in God’s eyes. Matthew 5:22; 1John 3:15. Unforgiveness will eat you alive from the inside and out. I understand completely. Made me a person I hated. Couldn’t stand to even look at myself in the mirror; until I forgave myself and the other person(s).
You must,absolutely,must forgive yourself. It is the same as forgiving others.
By forgiving others and yourself,does that mean that they will get away scott free? No,not necessarily. But it is God’s place to give the consequences, not ours. If we lash out in anyway, it makes us guilty as well. We are responsible for our own actions and reactions. Not theirs or anyone elses but our own. We can’t blame no one else, our parents,upbringing,etc. No one but ourselves for our own actions and reactions.
Forgive them and forgive you. By forgiving, you are freeing yourself to be healed and regaining control of your own life. Sometimes, you have to forgive repeatedly, daily even. The healing will come even before you realize it. But remember, you have to forgive yourself too. It is so much harder to forgive ourselves because we hold ourselves to a higher standard. We expect more of ourselves than others. I know how hard it can be. I have literally beat myself up so bad until I was lower than an ant and completely shattered. That is no place for a child of God to be.
Let it go,do not dwell on it.Satan has a way of bringing up the past, little remembrances, even the teeniest tiniest thing to remind you, to fuel unforgiveness and bitterness into our hearts. He wants to bring us down and keep us down. Its time for God’s children to stop giving satan weapons to use against us. Forgive it again, and immediately give it to God. Do not dwell on it, don’t give it a second thought. Once you do, you will free-fall down that horrible path again. I’ve done that too and it’s even harder to get back up.
Let God fight for you. Give it all to Him, forgive and stand out of the way. It’s not easy going against our flesh but we must. With God, All things are possible. It is so freeing to forgive.
God forgave us of so much,we can forgive others and ourselves. We can.
From Whom Much Is Forgiven,
I love you all